Embracing Calm: Strategies for Managing Deep-Seated Fears
Written on
Chapter 1: Understanding Fear
From the moment I can remember, fear has been a part of my life. Perhaps you can relate?
Recently, when my eye doctor informed me that cataract surgery was necessary, my mind spiraled into a frenzy of anxiety. While it's well-known that cataract surgery is one of the safest procedures available, my fear didn't care to listen.
I often wonder if our emotional responses are hardwired into our DNA or if they develop through repeated experiences. Regardless, fear seems to be my instinctive reaction to any perceived threat, and I doubt that will change anytime soon.
Recognizing this, I've come to understand that resisting my feelings only intensifies them. Instead of battling against my emotions, I choose to acknowledge and accept them, finding a more harmonious way to coexist.
I felt mentally prepared for my initial surgery, but a month-long delay unexpectedly triggered intense fear as the new date approached. Here are four strategies I employed to ease those overwhelming feelings.
Section 1.1: Self-Care
In the three days leading up to my surgery, I prioritized self-care by intentionally clearing my schedule. I allowed myself to relax, eliminating any additional stressors from my life. I didn't impose work obligations or any other pressures on myself.
However, I didn't spend the time idly. Cleaning the house helped ground me, listening to uplifting podcasts inspired me, and watching a lighthearted movie kept me laughing and distracted from stress.
While it may not be feasible to eradicate all stressors before an anxiety-inducing event, minimizing them can help your body and mind feel more at ease. Some may prefer to stay busy to divert their focus from the impending event—it's essential to identify what works best for you.
Subsection 1.1.1: Mindfulness
Three nights prior to surgery, I found myself lying in bed, consumed by "what if" scenarios. My mind began spiraling into a whirlwind of potential mishaps.
Determined not to create unnecessary stress by worrying about unlikely outcomes, I recalled my commitment to mindfulness. Through my practice, I've learned to create a small space between my emotions and myself. In that brief moment, I redirected my thoughts to the present, focusing on the sensation of the mattress beneath me and the tranquility surrounding me. Eventually, I found peace and fell asleep.
Yet, I knew that greater intensity was on the horizon.
Section 1.2: Distraction
The day before surgery, I awoke at 3:00 AM thanks to my affectionate cats. My mind quickly filled with anxiety from past experiences, launching me into fear-laden thoughts about the upcoming procedure.
In that moment, mindfulness alone couldn't alleviate my fears. My nervous system had already reached a heightened state of arousal. As meditation instructor Tara Brach explains, strong fear or trauma can hijack the brain, rendering the prefrontal cortex—responsible for rational thought and empathy—offline.
As a result, I found myself restless and unable to sleep. I decided to get up, move to another room, and read for a while. This distraction helped calm my nervous system.
Ultimately, when fear or trauma takes over, Brach suggests nurturing oneself rather than confronting the fear directly. Whether it's taking a walk, chatting with a friend, or indulging in a good book, self-care is crucial.
In my case, distraction was effective, and I don't feel guilty about it. While I'm committed to mindfulness, I'm still honing my skills.
Chapter 2: Soothing Techniques
On the night before surgery, I opted for a calming remedy. After experiencing my body slipping into panic the previous evening, I wanted to ensure a restful night before my procedure. Whether you prefer a prescribed medication or a natural alternative, do what feels right for you to keep your nervous system calm before significant events.
These strategies proved invaluable for me. If your fears stem from past trauma or feel overwhelming, it may be beneficial to consult a therapist.
Be Kind to Yourself
There's no need to feel ashamed of your emotional responses. Everyone has their emotional tendencies—some individuals may struggle with fear and anxiety, while others grapple with anger or sadness.
You might think you should have complete control over your emotions, but self-criticism rarely leads to positive outcomes. In my experience, self-kindness and compassion stabilize turbulent emotions and gradually help build resilience.
Closing Thoughts
When confronting intense fear, I employ a combination of strategies, including:
- Self-Care
- Mindfulness
- Distraction
- Calming Remedies
Mindfulness and self-awareness underpin all these approaches, as understanding your needs and the remedies that resonate with you is vital. Adding a touch of self-kindness can enhance your emotional well-being.
As you might have guessed, I successfully navigated my cataract surgeries, both of which went exceptionally well.
For more insights and inspiration, consider subscribing to my bi-monthly Wild Arisings newsletter, where you'll gain access to free self-discovery resources.
You might also like:
6 Ways to Stay Calm When Life Is Uncertain
How I Centered Myself During a Three-Month Lava Eruption
In this video, discover four effective techniques to activate your parasympathetic response, helping to alleviate anxiety and promote relaxation.
This video provides guidance on how to engage your parasympathetic response, offering practical steps to calm your anxiety before challenging situations.