Embracing Consistency: A Journey from Inconsistency to Growth
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Chapter 1: Understanding Inconsistency
I never anticipated that I'd find myself venting on Medium, yet here I am, diverting my attention from the five other articles awaiting completion.
To start off, let’s clarify what we mean by inconsistency: Inconsistent — behaving in a way that contradicts one's own principles or previous actions.
You may feel like you’re not the same person every day, often swaying between interests and passions. It’s as if you’re a grape mistaken for a black olive when popped into someone’s mouth. People struggle to pin you down; each week, you discover a new hobby, interest, or aspiration. You resemble that dog from the movie Up… Squirrel! That’s me. I proudly wear the crown of inconsistency.
Interestingly, there are areas in my life where I do maintain consistency. I show up to work daily, enjoy a stable relationship, exercise regularly, and often write on Medium.
If you find yourself feeling guilty for not following through, quitting, or getting distracted — welcome to my club of inconsistency.
- Complete an article by the deadline? Nope.
- Attempt a 30-day sobriety challenge, only to falter by day 13.
- Enroll in an online course, yet barely make it halfway through.
- Discover a new career direction, obsess over it for weeks, then lose interest — a classic move.
This cycle of inconsistency and mediocrity seems to infiltrate my life. I previously addressed this inconsistency in my early Medium writings due to my fear of giving up shortly after starting.
Coloring Outside of the Lines
A letter to myself when motivation wanes and I feel like quitting
I find myself addicted to novelty. In a past article, I wrote: You vowed never to resemble the addicts you grew up with. However, your addiction isn’t to substances — it’s to the new, the shiny, the thrill of novelty. You chase after the next creative high as soon as the previous one begins to fade.
When faced with challenges, I tend to bail. To Quit: leave (a location), often permanently.
I’m exhausted from quitting. I’m tired of chasing the next thing and feeling mediocre.
If I can’t keep my promises, who will believe me? If I can’t follow through, what value do I contribute? If I keep repeating this cycle, will I wake up decades later, only to find myself in mediocrity? Can I truly excel at anything if I don’t dedicate the necessary time to improve?
This fixation on novelty requires a remedy, and fast. I can’t keep failing myself or giving up.
Surprisingly, the one thing I haven’t abandoned is writing on Medium. It’s not that I intend to criticize myself, but I must confront my reality — No more!
Every day, I find myself measuring my progress against prolific writers who produce remarkable work while I struggle to complete an article.
It stings. It makes me feel inadequate, and perhaps my inconsistency stems from my fear of struggle.
The truth is, I fear failure. Will I fail? Ultimately, there are two types of individuals: 1. Those who show up daily and give their best. 2. Those who quit when faced with difficulties.
Right now, I identify with the second group, merely coasting through as my mind races toward the next shiny opportunity.
My inconsistency is rooted in my fear of failure. You can’t fail if you never try, right?
Yet, deep down, I believe my greatest fear is not just failing but also the prospect of succeeding.
I flee as soon as I get decent at something.
The Story of Inconsistency
It’s time for a change. I want to transform because this current path is unsustainable.
I’m weary of running. I wish to show up daily and give my best, as my biggest fear is living with regret — the regret of never trying, the regret of not reaching my full potential, and the regret of being merely mediocre in writing, work, and friendships.
From today onward, I will take small steps to untangle this knot of inconsistency. I won’t anticipate monumental changes; instead, I’ll commit to: - Showing up each day to refine my skills — particularly in writing and meditation. Whether it’s for two minutes or an hour, I will be present. - Continuously questioning myself: Am I running away? Am I quitting? What am I afraid of? - Having someone hold me accountable, whether it’s my spouse or a close friend.
That’s my roadmap. I want to change, and I plan to embrace some much-needed consistency in my erratic life.
Without accountability, we will never improve. If we don’t take small, targeted, and consistent actions, we will remain “good enough.” We’ll never achieve expertise or refine our craft. We’ll merely exist in a sea of mediocrity.
You cannot fail unless you quit. — Abraham Lincoln
What’s your plan moving forward? Are you part of the inconsistency club? Remember, you can’t fail unless you quit. I’ve resolved to stop failing.
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