Embracing the Writer Within: A Personal Journey
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The Journey Begins
It’s often said that a writer keeps a journal, and indeed, that’s where my journey commenced. I recall starting at the tender age of twelve, scribbling my thoughts into a diary as a means of organizing my ideas. Looking back, it astonishes me how effortless writing felt compared to verbal communication. I remember those cozy nights, nestled under blankets with a flashlight, reveling in the joy of creating a world that belonged solely to me. Each word I penned seemed to lift my worries away, almost as if they vanished the moment they touched the page. Even now, as I compose these lines, I feel a childlike thrill, akin to discovering a new land.
Sometimes, happiness can be distilled into the simplest of tools: a piece of paper and a pen—or, in my case, a keyboard and my glasses, as my vision becomes more clouded with age. Writing provided an escape from my fears, especially the fear of judgment. I dreaded the thought of being ridiculed for expressing my inner thoughts aloud.
As a child, I found it intriguing to explore my philosophical musings on paper, dissecting my feelings toward those who troubled me. Writing was my refuge, a way to process sorrow and pain. I now realize that my instinct led me to cultivate resilience by acknowledging my emotions, taking ownership of them, and committing them to paper. By doing so, I made them tangible and real.
The Unknown Becomes Known
My first journal entry as a twelve-year-old began with: “Dear Journal, I talk to you because I need to talk to someone.” How many others have penned similar words? While my hand wrote those lines, my heart yearned for an understanding companion who wouldn’t judge or laugh at my ramblings. I soon discovered that being completely honest in my journaling—much like with myself—was a challenge.
The desire to keep a journal coexisted with the fear of revealing the entire truth. Eventually, I learned that some experiences are best left unspoken and unwritten.
The Evolution of a Writer
After completing my education, I transitioned into work and family life, during which my writing aspirations blossomed into ambitious novels and historical narratives. Over the decades, I became a dedicated collector of my journals and manuscripts. My writing journey has spanned various formats—handwritten notes, letters, typed pages on a mechanical typewriter, and eventually adapting to computers, laptops, and tablets. I still carry cards and notebooks to capture fleeting ideas.
Though my writing was seldom shared, I did confide in a select few. For years, the dream of publishing a book felt distant and unattainable, as did the prospect of earning from my craft. Yet, I reassured myself that writing was a beloved hobby. Even now, as I freely share my thoughts, I feel incredibly fortunate.
A Revelation
A few years ago, during a casual conversation, my son remarked, “As a writer, you should know that.” I promptly retorted, “I’m not a writer!” The original topic quickly faded into the background. “Yes, you are!” he insisted.
“But I haven’t published anything!”
“That doesn’t matter! You write almost every day, crafting stories and characters—you are indeed a writer. To be an author requires publication, but you are a writer at heart.”
And so it was in my forties that I finally embraced my identity as a writer. Isn’t that wonderful?
If you’ve enjoyed my reflection on the journey of writing, feel free to give a clap and consider following my work!
All the best,
M
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