# Essential Strategies for Forming Friendships as a Neurodivergent
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Chapter 1: Starting Fresh in a New City
Moving to a new city often means starting over socially, a challenge I am currently facing. The only familiar face I have here is my partner, and to be honest, he’s probably tired of my endless renditions of "Drunken Sailor" mixed with "The Lonely Goatherd." But what makes forming new friendships so difficult?
The main hurdle is reintroducing myself. How do I explain my background? What do I say about my hobbies, like binge-watching shows and ordering takeout? And my family? They're scattered across the globe, with some even residing in an actual medieval fortress!
Here are some invaluable tips for making friends, shared from the perspective of a neurodivergent individual who's quite eager for connection.
Pro Tip: Quiz nights can be fantastic for meeting new people—unless, of course, you’re the one hosting!
Section 1.1: The Art of Introduction
When it comes to introducing yourself, clarity is key. Mispronunciations can create awkward moments, like someone calling you Molly instead of Holly. Don’t hesitate to correct someone if they get your name wrong, and remember to ask for theirs and listen attentively. It's just as embarrassing not to know your new friend's name as it is to have your name mispronounced.
Instead of using robotic phrases when chatting about the weather, try to be more engaging. For instance, you could say, "What a lovely day for a bike ride!" or "Perfect weather for a LOTR marathon!" These comments not only touch on the weather but also open avenues for deeper conversation about shared interests. However, be cautious about oversharing on the first meet-up unless that’s the kind of friendship you’re after.
Friends who overshare can be delightful, but I also seek those who enjoy activities together.
Section 1.2: Engaging in Activities
One effective way to present yourself as someone worth knowing is to participate actively in your community. Standing at the school gates, glued to your phone, isn’t the best way to appear approachable. Instead, consider picking up litter while walking your child home from school. This not only demonstrates your commitment to community service but also invites comments from passersby, which could lead to new connections.
Engaging in community activities—like visiting a pet shop or exploring nature trails—can also be great conversation starters.
Chapter 2: The Power of a Smile
Your facial expressions can significantly influence how others perceive you. My expressions sometimes lead to misunderstandings; for instance, my concentrated look might seem aggressive to others.
Remember, your face is a powerful tool for communication. Soften your expression, relax your jaw, and smile genuinely. If you can learn to smile with your eyes, you'll be well on your way to forging new friendships.
A helpful tip for smiling: think about your favorite meal when interacting with someone.
Section 2.1: Initiating Friendships
Making friends is not unlike dating; you need to take the initiative to invite people to hang out. Surprisingly, I’ve often found that people assume others have enough friends and therefore don’t reach out.
A friend of mine, who lives in a different city, mentioned her difficulty finding someone to attend a concert with. After a discussion about potential friends, it became clear that she often assumed their lack of interest without ever asking. Sometimes, the worst that can happen is a polite excuse.
For those of us who find social cues challenging, it can help to recognize red flags. If someone seems distracted or uninterested, it’s likely they aren’t a match for friendship.
In conclusion, if you want to make connections, step away from your screen and simply greet the person next to you. They’re probably just as eager to meet someone new!
Thanks for reading! I invite you to share your thoughts in the comments or explore my other stories for additional insights.
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