Chapter 1: The Current State of Parenting

The reality is that many children are struggling today. They’re leaving summer camps prematurely, missing weeks of school, and relying on various medications for anxiety and sleep. Despite having access to therapy and alternative treatments, many still struggle with basic activities like sleeping alone or attending sleepovers.

Parents are feeling the pressure too. They are anxious about letting their children venture out into the world and often find themselves turning to medication, therapy, or social media for advice.

My child exhibits a range of sensitivities:

• Highly sensitive
• Sensory-seeking
• On the autism spectrum
• Needs medication
• Hyper-focused yet unfocused
• Anxious in new settings

Looking at my circle of friends, it seems that every family is facing similar challenges with at least one child diagnosed with a condition.

How did we reach this point?

Even gatherings like Girls Night, which were once enjoyable, have devolved into sessions where we share experiences of burnout and exchange recommendations for child psychologists and medications.

I find myself sipping wine, feeling distanced from those I once considered close friends. Sometimes my responses lack empathy, and I often wonder how we arrived at this juncture.

Flashback to last weekend: I watched as the sleepaway bus sat idling, delayed by a parent who failed to arrive on time. As anxious parents paced around, they exchanged urgent messages with their kids—reminding them to eat snacks, read letters, or take their melatonin.

Flashback to a conversation with a colleague whose teenage daughter is facing her first heartbreak. Though she wants to attend a party where her ex will be, he has forbidden it, fearing it will be too painful.

Flashback to a friend's Instagram post of her daughter at camp, looking somber. “She hates camp,” my friend worries, despite it being just a single moment captured in time. “I might pick her up,” she says, and I try to convince her otherwise. Later, I find out she did indeed bring her daughter home.

Flashback to a discussion with my boss, who frets over her son's transition to university. “Who will remind him to turn in his assignments?” she asks, worrying he might make poor choices or fail.

Flashback to a friend recounting a mother's insistence on receiving a photo of her child just one hour into the school day, complete with her personal cell phone number.

Flashback to a neighbor who hesitated to leave her 18-year-old daughter at home for a weekend getaway, fearing her daughter wouldn’t know how to toast bread.

We live in a society rife with fear, where parents strive to shield their children from any potential harm.

“The world is not what it used to be,” is a common refrain. But is the world truly more dangerous? Or is the real risk rooted in the excessive time children spend isolated at home due to parental fears?

An expert recently pointed out that we are overly cautious about letting kids explore the real world while overlooking the dangers present in the digital realm. This rings true, especially when these same children who are sheltered from parties and public transport have unrestricted access to smartphones and social media.

I have a pre-teen who struggles with coordination and a nine-year-old adept at navigating our city’s transit system. Why do I feel comfortable allowing my pre-teen to play outside alone but not my nine-year-old?

Because once, when I did, a well-meaning adult questioned whether she was running away and offered to call the police.

When my son is unavailable to accompany her, she often turns to screens as my husband and I juggle work and household duties. While we understand that risky play is crucial for development, how can children learn from their mistakes if we don’t let them experience the world?

The truth is, when I do allow my children to play outside, they often find themselves alone. Their peers are busy with structured activities—tutoring, sports, and lessons—while I yearn to provide them with the unstructured freedom I enjoyed as a child.

I recently wrote about a week of 1980s-style freedom my son experienced with a friend. They were thrilled to embark on a subway trip to the mall, but at the last moment, the other parent panicked and insisted on joining them. My son was crushed, and honestly, so was I.

Parents, please reconsider your approach. It's time to land those metaphorical helicopters, peel back the protective layers, and allow our children to truly experience their childhood before it slips away.

The Kids Are Not Okay - A look at the challenges facing today's youth and the impact of overparenting.

The Kids Are Not Alright - Examining the decline in mental health among young people and the role of parental anxiety.