Chapter 1: The Illusion of Immediate Connection

In the early phases of a relationship, many women find themselves swept away in daydreams. The moment we start interacting with a man, our imaginations take flight, conjuring up scenes from beloved films and envisioning ourselves in leading roles. We begin planning our future, from naming our children to mapping out vacations and discussing life milestones.

However, these fantasies often shatter when reality sets in.

Masha, for example, wonders, "We've been together for three months, but he hasn't made any romantic gestures. Should I bring this up with him?"

Important Question: What Defines Your Relationship?

This leads us to a common misunderstanding among many women. Pay attention to this crucial point:

When you meet a new man and start communicating, he is merely an acquaintance at first. He is not your future husband, boyfriend, or partner—just someone you know.

If this acquaintance begins to show affection—such as bringing flowers, wanting to please you, or taking you out to dinner—he transitions into the role of a suitor.

This stage is vital for the evolution of the relationship. If you neglect this foundational phase, you may find it challenging to progress further.

Attempting to skip from the initial acquaintance stage straight to a committed relationship is unrealistic. Just like you wouldn't expect to master multiplication tables without learning the basics, you cannot expect deep connection without nurturing the initial stages.

If you rush to categorize him as your partner without allowing time for natural progression, do not be surprised when he doesn’t meet your expectations of romance, or when he only shows affection on special occasions.

A man will not be compelled to court you if he doesn’t have feelings for you; the desire to pursue romance often stems from genuine interest. If he doesn't see your worth, he may not change his behavior unless he realizes that you are significant to him—and that you value yourself.

Reflecting back, trying to explain to a man after two or three months of dating that you crave attention and care can feel futile and frustrating.

Chapter 2: Setting Realistic Expectations

Understanding your relationship’s progression helps establish realistic expectations.