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Reconsidering 'Show, Don’t Tell': A Fresh Perspective on Writing

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The advice "show, don’t tell" ranks among the most frequently dispensed writing tips, right after the phrase "just write." While catchy and easy to recall, it often proves less helpful than one might expect.

This phrase is sometimes misused by writers who inadvertently press others into convoluted descriptions and ineffective literary shortcuts, resulting in prose that struggles to maintain grace and originality.

Although the concept has its merits, it’s critical to grasp its true implications. Typically, writers aren't willfully ignoring sound guidance. When someone incessantly repeats, "Show, don’t tell," it’s not necessarily a flaw on the writer’s part; it reflects a misunderstanding of how to effectively apply this principle.

Vague suggestions to "do more showing" often stem from a limited grasp of the concept and, more importantly, when it’s appropriate to apply it.

What Does 'Show, Don’t Tell' Actually Mean?

Telling is akin to recounting an event to a friend: "I went here and did that. Then something occurred, and I felt a certain way about it." In this scenario, you’re conveying information without immersing your friend in the experience.

In contrast, showing allows readers to fully engage with the narrative, vividly illustrating the experience as if they were part of it.

Reading offers escapism; we delve into stories to discover new worlds, meet diverse characters, and experience different lives. By employing a showing approach, you enable your audience to connect with the narrative on a deeper level.

Telling: Harry was cold. Showing: Harry’s breath hung in the air as he hunched his shoulders against the biting wind, tucking his nose into the folds of his scarf.

While telling is straightforward and gets to the point, it lacks immersion. Showing, however, is less direct, requiring readers to infer details, which can enhance the overall intrigue of the story.

A Quick Reference Guide

Once you know what to identify, spotting telling becomes straightforward. Here’s a starting list of indicators to help you refine your writing.

To Be

Statements such as “Joan is bossy,” “Rupert is stubborn,” or “Harold was so excited” provide information in a direct manner.

To illustrate Joan’s bossiness or Rupert’s stubbornness, consider crafting scenes that demonstrate these traits through actions or dialogue, allowing readers to infer rather than state outright. For instance, Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials shows Lyra’s propensity for lying through her actions rather than explicitly stating it.

For Harold, convey his excitement through body language, dialogue, or internal thoughts, allowing the audience to deduce his feelings.

To Have

A simple statement like “Marcus has grey eyes” is accurate but bland. Instead, consider using more dynamic verbs: “Anger flared in Marcus’s grey eyes.”

Thought and Opinion Verbs

Telling: Ian thought Morag was angry with him. Thought verbs like think, know, or believe provide shortcuts that diminish immersive storytelling. Instead of stating Ian’s thoughts, illustrate the situation that leads him to believe Morag is upset through actions and dialogue.

Avoid letting your point-of-view character remain static for too long; modern readers often prefer action over introspection.

Adverbs

The action is clear with “Leo walked away from his mother,” but it lacks emotional depth. Adding an adverb often indicates a weak verb. Instead, use a stronger verb: “Leo stormed away from his mother.”

When the verb is strong enough, the adverb becomes unnecessary. Trust your readers to grasp the emotions conveyed.

'Very,' 'Really,' and Adjectives

Words like “very” and “really” serve as crutches for adjectives. Aim for more powerful descriptors instead. For example, “She was very pretty” can become “Jaws dropped when she entered the room.”

> "Don’t say it was delightful; make us say delightful when we’ve read the description." — C.S. Lewis

Where 'Show, Don’t Tell' Falls Short

Writers, including myself, often cling too rigidly to a writing rule, sometimes turning it into a defining principle of our work.

With “show, don’t tell,” I swung from misunderstanding it to treating it as an unyielding guideline. However, creativity thrives in flexibility.

Overusing this technique can lead to excessive description, bogging down your narrative and making it tedious to read.

Exposition

Your story exists within a broader context. Characters have backgrounds that influence the plot, requiring you to share some history with your readers.

Instead of detailing every character's biography, determine what essential information your audience needs. Find engaging ways to present this, such as through narrative summary or dialogue.

Transitions

Not every journey your characters undertake is compelling. If nothing significant occurs while they move from point A to point B, simply state it: “They arrived two hours later.”

Pacing

One overlooked advantage of telling is its ability to vary the rhythm of your writing. An unbroken series of immersive scenes can be overwhelming.

Telling is succinct and efficient, perfect for action sequences that require quick pacing.

Internalization

When diving into a character’s inner thoughts, telling can often convey emotions more effectively than attempting to demonstrate every thought through action or dialogue.

For example, a straightforward exposition may deliver clarity more efficiently than a lengthy description filled with action.

Impact

Occasionally, telling can create a stronger emotional resonance than showing, making it valuable for delivering powerful revelations or feelings.

The weight of silence and absence can be profoundly impactful. If you want to deliver a shocking twist, state it clearly and then move on.

Practice Makes Perfect

While “show, don’t tell” is not infallible advice, grasping its essence is crucial. You, as the writer, know best how to fulfill your story’s needs and the effect you wish to achieve.

Familiarize yourself with these techniques and rules, ensuring you maintain authority over your own work. Learn the boundaries of creative writing so you can apply them when necessary, but also feel free to disregard what doesn’t serve your narrative.

Stay tuned for my monthly newsletter, featuring my top writing tip and insights from my favorite books and lectures on writing.

Wishing you a productive and inspiring writing journey!

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