Prelude: Origins of Privilege

While my family was never affluent, my parents worked hard to provide us with both financial and emotional security. As a child, I was fortunate enough not to worry about hunger or housing—this in itself is a privilege. I never understood the label of "rich kid," as my parents' achievements are not mine. I have always believed in forging my own path.

Growing up in a country plagued by corruption, I understood that wealth could resolve many issues. The ability to access quality healthcare and feel secure for the future were paramount to me. I was raised with an emphasis on valuing relationships over material possessions, focusing on spending quality time with my family rather than indulging in consumerism.

Living in a corrupt environment often limits access to opportunities unless one has financial resources or influential connections. My parents were well-connected and financially stable, allowing them to aspire to provide me with numerous opportunities.

> "You don't need to stress about grades. If you struggle in school, I can help you," my father would say. > "You can attempt to enter university on your own, but I have friends who can assist you," he would add. > "Feel free to explore university life, but don't squander it. I can arrange for someone to help with your exams later, and I’ll ensure you find a job," were his reassurances.

While these might seem like dream opportunities, they represent a troubling normalization of corruption and privilege—something I never desired.

My parents instilled in me a belief that the pursuit of meaningful relationships outweighed material wealth.

No One Should Have Everything While Others Struggle

In response to my father’s assertions, I always questioned: Why? Why should he bear the burden of my educational and career decisions? Why offer me privileges I haven't worked for, especially when others may deserve them more? It seemed unfair to accept what I hadn't earned while many lack the same advantages.

Parents naturally strive to provide their children with security and comfort, but I couldn't accept their desire to gift me everything I felt I should earn.

I was capable and achieved good grades through my own efforts, gaining admission to a reputable university without any financial aid. My plan was to balance studying and working to achieve my goals independently, believing that success shouldn’t be determined by wealth or connections.

I Refused to Live Rent-Free

The greatest gift my parents provided was an immigration visa. After completing school, we moved to a country with minimal corruption, where everyone has access to equal opportunities. We were no longer wealthy; instead, we became regular citizens, which is all I ever desired.

Upon turning 18 and landing my first full-time job, I insisted on contributing to household expenses. My financial responsibilities included:

• Half of the rent for our apartment.
• All personal expenses such as transportation and food.
• Contributions to family bills, including phone and internet, alongside a share of car insurance.

My parents covered the remainder of the rent and household essentials. At times, I faced financial challenges and had to shoulder all family expenses, including rent, but I cannot complain about the support system in place.

I Refused to Accept Help with Tuition

I rehearsed the conversation with my parents about my decision to decline financial support for tuition and living costs while studying. Though my father was initially disappointed, he respected my choice. I believe he takes pride in my journey to establish my independence and succeed on my own.

While I acknowledge that some privilege remains, such as not fearing homelessness or hunger, I value my safety, healthcare access, and the human rights I enjoy. I recognize how fortunate I am.

Humility as a Virtue

I don’t see myself as a hero for attempting to diminish my privilege; I am merely a person striving to be grounded and humble. My appearance may still afford me certain privileges, but I choose to navigate my own path with minimal external assistance.

While I remain conscious of my advantages, I do not believe in comparing my journey to others. If faced with a dire financial situation, I would accept help, as I am only human.

Ignorance is Not Attractive

I find it disheartening to hear individuals boast about their free rides. If one is fortunate enough to live rent-free, appreciation for that opportunity is essential. Living with parents should stem from love, not merely financial convenience.

I generally keep my financial arrangements private. While some friends know of my agreement with my family, I don't feel compelled to share with everyone, as reactions can vary. I've faced hostility from those who misconstrue my intentions, but I strive to remain calm and composed.

Encountering Criticism and Judgment

I've faced scrutiny for my commitment to independence, with some suggesting I should take advantage of financial support from my family. Such expectations seem misguided, particularly as I navigate adulthood.

I once dated someone who criticized my decision to remain in my city while boasting about his choice to live at home to avoid rent. His perspective was puzzling and not appealing.

Regardless of the choices we make, judgment from others is inevitable, even when pursuing what seems to be a positive path.

> I can earn more money in the future, but my intelligence, integrity, pride, and sense of accomplishment are invaluable.

I Would Do it Again

Out of curiosity, I calculated how much financial support I could have received from my family, totaling between $125,000 to $150,000. Instead, I am now repaying $50,000 in student loans, with just $38,000 remaining. Had I chosen a different path, I could have invested that money wisely.

Ultimately, I would make the same choice again. I hope to earn more in the future, but the value of my integrity and accomplishments far outweighs any monetary gain.

Acknowledging Privilege and Commitment to Change

Despite my best efforts, I cannot deny my privilege. If it were possible, I would eliminate it entirely. I wish for equal opportunities for all, regardless of background or socioeconomic status.

Nonetheless, I will continue my efforts to minimize my privilege and advocate for equality in the future.