As New Age spirituality gains traction on social media, numerous manifestation coaches have emerged, promising to help individuals create their dream lives. While they offer various techniques aimed at achieving a fabricated version of our aspirations, a common theme persists: the emphasis on crafting an ideal self and striving to become that person.

I'm not certain if these coaches genuinely practice what they preach or if they were conditioned to convey this message. Regardless, this teaching often goes unchallenged, which is concerning for someone like me who questions everything.

When I ponder the idea of transforming into my "ideal self," it doesn't clear my path. Although it's simple to outline who I aspire to be, envision the emotions tied to my material desires, or even sketch out a perfect day, such thoughts remain mere fantasies clouded by the expectations our ego imposes.

How can we be sure that the inspiration behind our aspirations is genuine and not tainted? How do we know we are following our soul's call rather than seeking external validation for our happiness?

We can't, particularly when our ego is the architect of these fantasies. It can only conceive what it has already encountered; it merely imitates existing realities. We are not meant to be replicas of what already exists.

Recognizing that we are unique, with an individual essence and power, allows us to see that our "ideal self" emerges through each choice we make. This ideal self has yet to come into being; thus, we cannot simply BECOME that version of ourselves without undergoing the challenges that shape us.

Stay tuned; there's more to explore on this topic.

Point 1: Understanding Our True Desires How can I assert that no one truly knows what they want? If you constantly find yourself questioning your identity and purpose while wrestling with inner conflicts, how can you claim to know your desires?

It's impossible.

Your understanding is limited to what you’ve experienced, what others are doing, and the feelings evoked by life’s moments. Everything else remains uncertain.

We gravitate toward immediate desires, living in the present moment. Our current wants manifest in the here and now.

Often, we may not grasp why we feel drawn to certain actions, but listening to these impulses can reveal our true selves and guide our paths.

Take, for instance, my favorite YouTuber, Raven Elyse, whom I’ve followed since 2013. She began multiple channels simply because she wanted to create and share her journey. There was no pressure or expectation; it was a joyful pursuit. She started her channel before the influencer career path even existed, following her passion without a defined outcome.

Similarly, I began pottery two years ago. Initially, it was just a whim—watching potters on YouTube and expressing to my husband how appealing it seemed. He enrolled me in a class, and to my surprise, I quickly fell in love with it, even selling some pieces along the way.

Our ideal self remains unformed, indicating—through our current desires—who we truly are. Not every interest will persist, but each experience imparts valuable lessons about ourselves and the world that accompany us on our journey.

Point 2: The Ideal Self as an Escape I closed my coaching business, which provided spiritual guidance for four years, and during that time, I noticed a recurring theme among clients: the desire to escape their reality. Many wished to eliminate aspects of themselves or their lives they struggled to accept. They rejected parts of their being, unaware of how to love themselves fully.

Rituals, reiki sessions, and countless hours spent in healing often served as distractions from the fears and insecurities hiding beneath the surface. Yet, these attempts rarely led to the self-idealism they sought.

Clients frequently envisioned their desired selves and lives, mistakenly believing they must discard their current identities. This approach neglected the importance of self-acceptance, resulting in further dissatisfaction despite their healing efforts.

The most powerful version of ourselves cannot emerge from repression or rejection. Such actions only fragment our souls, leaving us feeling incomplete.

When we push parts of ourselves away, we signal that we are unworthy of love and acceptance. I’ve experienced this myself, making it easier for me to recognize it in others.

Wishing to be different, to possess certain qualities, or to eliminate perceived flaws won’t unlock creativity or intuition. Instead, we must confront our dissatisfaction and fears, embracing them as integral parts of ourselves.

Once we accept who we are in the present moment, we no longer feel the need to escape or transform before we can love and appreciate ourselves. Instead, we can find peace in our current state.

We are already ideal. More of our potential will naturally unfold when we cease desperately seeking it.

Point 3: The Dangers of Over-Focusing on the Future Too often, we neglect nurturing the present in favor of obsessing over an uncertain future. This preoccupation with what lies ahead leads to a disconnect from our current experiences.

Life passes us by when we become trapped in our thoughts, constructing plans and timelines. While planning has its value, it shouldn’t dominate our existence, nor should we worry excessively about potential pitfalls.

Our dreams and visions can ignite a desire to explore the world, but they are not meant to manifest precisely as we envision. Our imagination serves as a starting point, not the destination.

The actual journey holds far more intrigue.

However, the fear of dying before achieving our dreams can lead to an unhealthy attachment to arbitrary timelines and rigid expectations. This fixation can hinder our ability to reach our goals.

In our attempts to control every aspect of life, we leave little room for challenges, risks, or the unknown—elements that often spark magic and bring ideals to life. This journey is one of self-discovery, revealing layers of ourselves we didn’t know existed and contributing to our understanding and growth.

Yet when we fixate on the future, we detach from our bodies and ourselves, losing touch with the intuition and wisdom that guide us toward our purpose.

This preoccupation with tomorrow prevents us from fully engaging with today.

Final Thoughts: Becoming is a byproduct, not the ultimate goal. The objective lies in discovery, leading us to better understand ourselves and facilitating the realization of our higher selves.

This transformation occurs when we allow ourselves to simply exist, unlocking our inherent potential and power.

According to the Law of Cause and Effect, our becoming is the result of our being.

Realizing our higher selves stems from our present existence, embracing the idea that we are that ideal self right now. There’s nowhere to go, nothing to prove, and no lessons to learn—we already embody that essence.

We don’t need to fabricate a persona to create a false life. We don’t need to banish the darkness within us; it adds depth and character, fueling our growth and potential every day.

If we allow it to.

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