Understanding Aversion: The Hidden Source of Suffering
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Chapter 1: The Dilemma of Aversion
Before embarking on my current journey in recruitment, I spent time in a lab focused on medical testing. While it may seem intriguing at first glance, the reality of the work was quite the opposite.
In essence, I was performing routine tasks in a scientific environment that felt monotonous. There was a lack of challenge and personality, and my sole objective was to execute tasks as efficiently as possible. Even though I was aware that my efforts contributed to helping others, the excitement faded quickly after exhausting efforts like pouring 200kg of bicarbonate into a 6000L tank.
From the very beginning of my post-University career, I recognized that such roles were not aligned with my aspirations. However, I was uncertain about my direction or how to navigate toward it.
It would have been easy to allow resentment to cloud my daily work life. I felt neither happiness nor fulfillment, but complaining wouldn't have changed my circumstances. Financially, I wasn't in a position to switch careers, nor did I have a clear vision of what I wanted.
I learned to accept my situation—not in a way of settling, but with the understanding that since I couldn't alter it, I would endure it until change was possible. This radical acceptance saved me from years of needless struggle. Although I didn't enjoy my work, I made a conscious choice not to dwell negatively on it. If I had, I would have only been adding to my own misery.
The Buddha identifies Greed, Hate, and Delusion as the primary sources of suffering in our lives. Many are familiar with the adage "Desire is the root of all suffering," yet the converse holds true as well.
Today, I want to delve into the concept of acceptance and explore how an overt aversion to our realities leads to suffering.
Section 1.1: Aversion as a Pathway to Suffering
When examining the Buddha's Three Defilements—Greed, Hate, and Delusion—we find a shared characteristic: they all dismiss our current reality.
Greed embodies the desire to possess more than we currently have. It fosters the mindset of "I lack this, hence I must acquire it," driving us to chase endless goals in hopes of fulfilling what we feel is missing in our lives.
Delusion, on the other hand, involves escaping our present circumstances. This manifests as ignorance towards warning signs in relationships or situations, where we make excuses rather than confronting the evidence as it is.
Finally, aversion involves rejecting our current state. This reaction entails feelings of disdain, frustration, sadness, or anger toward our circumstances or those of others. Aversion stands in stark opposition to acceptance; it is a form of rejection.
By dismissing our realities, we sever our connection to the present moment. I often observed colleagues arriving at work grumbling about their tasks and expressing disdain for their jobs. While the work was indeed unexciting, the distinction between those who accepted their situation and those living in aversion was stark. The latter group faced a much more challenging daily existence.
By relinquishing my own aversion and embracing acceptance, I didn't magically transform into a fan of my job. I still found it tedious, but I refused to fan the flames of discontent within me. I acknowledged my reality as it was and sought a way forward.
Subsection 1.1.1: The Mental Toll of Aversion
Our brains are incredibly energy-consuming organs, utilizing about 20% of our daily energy intake. This energy fuels various functions, including our thoughts. Therefore, the nature of our thinking is crucial, as the types and intensity of our thoughts significantly impact our brain's energy expenditure.
Living in a state of aversion means existing in a heightened state of stress. Resenting the ground beneath our feet each day is an exhausting endeavor. Such mental states can drain our energy reserves.
Individuals grappling with depression or anxiety often feel mentally fatigued, even when they are inactive; it's akin to running on a treadmill in their minds.
Moreover, the impact of aversive thinking extends beyond our energy levels—it also affects our mood. While I didn’t find joy in my job upon releasing my resistance, I felt considerably lighter. I may not have been happy, but I achieved a level of contentment with my reality.
In contrast, my colleagues, who entered work stressed out, found their anxiety compounded by daily challenges. Stress operates on a continuum from acute to chronic, and living in aversion often means starting each day with a half-full stress tank. Consequently, our responsibilities feel heavier, our moods worsen, and we question why we can't summon the energy to escape the rut we've created.
Aversion comes at a cost, so how do we begin to practice acceptance?
Section 1.2: Embracing Acceptance and Moving Beyond Aversion
As I've matured, I've adopted a mindset regarding my reality: "If I dislike it but cannot change it, resisting it serves no purpose."
This principle doesn’t apply universally. Significant injustices that seem insurmountable warrant resistance. However, I refer to those smaller, everyday instances, such as a job we find unfulfilling but cannot leave immediately.
To cultivate acceptance, we must settle into our current reality. This can be uncomfortable, especially when facing aversion, as we likely do not appreciate our circumstances.
Yet, therein lies the beauty of aversion—it reveals our dislikes and compels us to contemplate ways to alter our situations. What we must avoid is living solely through aversion, as it obstructs both our acceptance of reality and our ability to find an escape route.
It became essential for me to recognize that, while I disliked my role, I committed to not continuously cursing it. By accepting my situation, I opened myself to focus on other pursuits, such as seeking a way out or simply being present.
When we are genuinely present and detach from the narratives created by our minds, we discover peace. Resistance arises only when we impose labels on our reality. During this time, I practiced mindfulness meditation, which enhanced my ability to detach from my thoughts and stay anchored in the present. You can do this as well.
Practicing acceptance involves acknowledging that resisting an unchangeable situation is futile. Such resistance clouds our thoughts, drains our energy, and dampens our mood.
You may not be thrilled with your current circumstances, but that doesn’t preclude you from accepting them. Acceptance is possible even if you aren't entirely in agreement with your situation. This doesn't equate to settling, although it may feel that way temporarily.
I used my time in acceptance to develop my blog, which provided me with the fulfillment and satisfaction that my job lacked. Would I have had the energy to write had I been living in aversion? I doubt it. Therefore, use your time wisely, and be mindful of the thoughts you entertain and their potential costs.
Aversion, alongside desire, is a significant source of suffering.
Chapter 2: Understanding Suffering through the Lens of Buddhism
Explore the roots of suffering, examining how greed, aversion, and delusion contribute to our pain. This video by Phillip Moffitt delves into the core Buddhist teachings.
Discover the Four Noble Truths that shed light on the nature of suffering and the path to liberation. This enlightening explanation will enhance your understanding of acceptance.