Chapter 1: The Unspoken Truth of Trauma

What I’m about to share is something I’ve only revealed to a few — my therapist, some fellow service members, and a handful of close friends.

One fateful day in Iraq, I found myself in a situation where I nearly took the lives of two men. For almost 15 years, I wrestled with the belief that this act made me inherently evil. However, through extensive reflection and therapy, I’ve come to understand a crucial distinction: I possess the potential for evil, but that does not define my essence.

This realization does not excuse my actions, nor does it absolve anyone who has harmed you. It’s imperative to remain cautious of individuals like me. Recognizing this capacity for darkness is a shared human trait, not a mark of true evil.

The men I targeted were driving a white Bongo truck, a common sight in Iraq, resembling a van with a pickup bed that seemed almost toy-like. They approached our position as we awaited the Explosive Ordnance Disposal (