Chapter 1: Unlikely Teachers

Recently, three former contestants from ABC's The Bachelorette found themselves in the midst of a Duke basketball game, wandering around my university's campus. As they explored, they shared photos on social media, triggering a wave of enthusiastic fans—mostly students—eager to catch a glimpse of them.

To be honest, I’ve never watched The Bachelorette, so I wouldn’t have recognized these so-called "Bachelorette Boys" without my students informing me. Yet, I ended up taking a photo with them at the conclusion of one of my entrepreneurship classes—a social media marketing course—because I had used their presence to convey an essential entrepreneurial lesson, which I would like to share with you as well.

People tend to shy away when you pursue them too eagerly.

In the world of entrepreneurship, you often find yourself in a similar situation to the students chasing after these reality stars. You may be seeking out potential investors, customers, or employees who seem out of reach. The crucial difference is that you’re not chasing them for their looks, but rather for the potential they hold to help your startup thrive.

Regardless of whether you're pursuing a celebrity or a high-profile investor, the outcome remains consistent: the more aggressively you chase them, the more desperate you come across, making it even harder to engage them. People naturally become suspicious of those who pursue them relentlessly.

Take my students’ experience as an example. Even those who managed to find the Bachelorette Boys often ended up with little more than a quick selfie or a brief hug—superficial interactions at best.

This scenario mirrors what happens in the startup ecosystem. Entrepreneurs often expend significant effort trying to connect with prestigious investors or high-level professionals, only to find that these interactions lack substance. This is primarily because the power dynamic is skewed; entrepreneurs appear too eager, making it difficult to convey genuine value.

To thrive as an entrepreneur, it’s crucial to shift your approach from chasing to attracting.

Chapter 2: Shifting the Power Dynamic

In the video "Joey Graziadei & Kelsey Anderson, Bachelor Nation's newly engaged couple talk $, careers & next move," the couple discusses their journey, emphasizing the importance of value creation in relationships—both personal and professional. Their insights align perfectly with the entrepreneurial challenges of attracting the right connections rather than chasing them.

To illustrate this point, I encouraged my students to think differently about their situation. While they were eager to find the Bachelorette Boys, I pointed out that many others on campus shared the same goal. Instead of running around in search of these stars, I proposed that they brainstorm ways to draw the celebrities to them.

"What if there was a way to engage them meaningfully?" I asked. This sparked a lively discussion among my students about how they could leverage their own assets to make themselves appealing to the Bachelorette Boys.

The same principle applies to entrepreneurs. When seeking connections, it’s vital to consider what makes you attractive to the individuals you want to engage. This shift in mindset compels you to think about how you can provide value to others, which is critical for startup success. If you lack something of interest to offer, perhaps you should reconsider your pursuit.

Chapter 3: Creating Opportunities

In the recap video "A Nightmare Fuel Hometown - The Bachelorette WEEK 7 Recap (Jenn's Season)," viewers gain insight into the dynamics of connection and attraction in the context of relationships, underscoring the importance of understanding value in interactions.

My students quickly realized that the Bachelorette Boys would likely be interested in promoting themselves, which could lead to a meaningful engagement. One of my students decided to reach out via direct message, inviting the reality stars to join our class as guest speakers. Within minutes, they accepted the invitation.

"They're eager to join us," I remarked, thrilled with my students' proactive strategy. "This opportunity allows them to enhance their personal brand while sharing their experiences, which is incredibly valuable to them."

While the insights shared by the Bachelorette Boys were relevant to our social media marketing course, the more significant takeaway was the lesson in how to attract potential partners—whether they be investors, customers, or employees. Instead of chasing after someone you wish to connect with, always ask yourself: "What can I do to draw this person toward me?"

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