# Effective Strategies for Managing Negative Thought Patterns
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Understanding Thought Spirals
Experiencing negative thought spirals, often termed rumination, is quite common among individuals with Autism and ADHD, including myself. This phenomenon refers to moments when a thought overwhelms you, leading to excessive overthinking and feelings of self-doubt.
Many conventional coping strategies tend to be generic, assuming a neurotypical perspective. Suggestions like practicing mindfulness or engaging in physical activity may work for some, but they often feel dismissive and ineffective for me. I still struggle with self-criticism, and if I don't confront my internalized ableism, that struggle will persist.
Embracing My Neurodivergence
Understanding my neurodivergence has provided clarity about my past struggles, yet it only serves as a piece of the broader puzzle. Recognizing my issues doesn’t inherently resolve them. I still find social interactions challenging, and I often feel overwhelmed by rejection sensitivity, whether it’s real or perceived.
Missing social cues can lead to genuine dislike from others. The anxiety of interpreting others' thoughts based on uncertain signals is a significant factor that can trigger my negative spirals. My tendency toward monotropism can be both a strength and a hindrance, as I can become fixated on negative thoughts, much like how I focus on more constructive subjects.
These spirals often feel like an unrelenting storm, leaving me vulnerable to harsh self-judgment. Thoughts such as, "I'm a terrible parent," or "I will never be good enough," can loop in my mind for hours, driving me to the brink of insanity.
Reflecting on My Thoughts
Despite my desire for clarity, I still grapple with feelings of inadequacy. Past coping mechanisms, like distraction and disassociation, only offered temporary relief. I learned to disassociate as a child, finding solace in imagining my life as a movie, which allowed me to detach from painful feelings. However, this isn't a sustainable solution, and many experts warn against the long-term effects of disassociation.
Instead, I’ve started exploring Cognitive Defusion, a technique that involves separating oneself from the emotional weight of thoughts. This approach has provided a framework that feels more constructive.
I've also become more mindful of recognizing when I am caught in a thought spiral. While awareness doesn’t halt the spiraling, understanding the underlying patterns has brought some breakthroughs.
Strategies for Managing Negative Thought Patterns
Identify Triggers
Acknowledging the reasons behind your spirals can help mitigate self-criticism. For instance, my disorganization is linked to my ADHD, and misunderstandings can arise from my direct communication style. While understanding these triggers doesn’t erase the pain, it offers a bit of perspective.
Adjust Expectations
It's vital not to judge neurodivergent individuals by neurotypical standards. Societal expectations often create undue pressure. For example, my children may struggle with aspects of school, not due to lack of effort but due to their unique challenges. Releasing the need to conform to societal norms can alleviate stress and foster a healthier self-image.
Challenge Perceptions
When negative spirals focus on how others perceive us, it’s essential to question why that matters. People may think I’m a lenient parent because my child struggles with school attendance. But ultimately, prioritizing my child's mental health is far more important than external opinions.
Accept Differences
Understand that not everyone will grasp your challenges. They haven’t lived your experiences and may fail to appreciate the complexities of parenting a neurodivergent child. It’s okay for others to hold differing views; the key is to release the need for their approval.
In conclusion, although I’m still navigating these challenges, shifting my perspective has significantly reduced self-criticism and fostered a sense of calm.
Calming & De-escalation Strategies - YouTube This video provides valuable techniques for managing emotional responses and calming the mind during stressful moments.
Handling Rumination/Thought Spirals: Tips on How to Cope With Self-Destructive Thoughts In this video, learn effective strategies for addressing self-destructive thought patterns and navigating through rumination.