How Embracing My Own Journey Helped Me Stop Judging Others
Written on
Understanding a Judgment-Free Zone
What if we could envision a world where everyone and everything is accepted just as they are?
In the past, I found myself frequently judging others. However, my perspective has transformed significantly over time.
Previously, I would label a marriage as “failed” or assume something was amiss when I learned about someone's divorce. Now, I recognize that people part ways for a multitude of reasons, and sometimes it's simply a matter of personal growth.
For instance, when I encountered someone pursuing graduate studies in their 30s rather than their 20s, I used to question their delay in discovering their passions. Now, as someone who is over a decade removed from college, I remain open to the idea of furthering my education with a Master’s degree in the future.
Similarly, I used to wonder about the happiness of single women in their 40s or 50s. As someone who has been single for an extended period, I now appreciate the freedom and flexibility it provides me to chase my interests without needing to consider a partner's wants or needs.
Reflecting on my previous judgments, I realize how simplistic my thinking was. I no longer criticize myself for being judgmental; instead, I understand that my earlier views were shaped by societal pressures and expectations.
A Personal Anecdote
At 22, I joined friends for an outing. They were all ten years my senior, and at that time, I had just graduated and was contemplating a career in consulting while considering law and business school.
My friend's sister had jumped straight into dental school after her undergraduate studies, achieving financial success as a dentist. Following her lead, my friend pursued a Master’s degree in occupational therapy right after undergrad. This experience instilled in me a belief that I needed to have everything mapped out promptly, a mindset I inadvertently projected onto others.
During my twenties, I felt bound by invisible timelines. At 27, my interest in law school resurfaced, but I felt it was “too late,” especially since many of my peers were already practicing lawyers while I would not graduate until I was 30. The thought of being “behind” was daunting, though I felt it was the “right” moment to apply for business school, as I would fit the median age of a first-year student.
I am grateful that I no longer adhere to such rigid thinking. My non-linear career path has allowed me to make decisions that may have seemed illogical to others but resonated with me. By embracing my authentic self, I began to shed the importance I once placed on these arbitrary timelines.
Shifting Perspectives
I've come to realize that my judgments of others were often reflections of my own insecurities and the desire to fit into societal molds. Now, I often ponder why I would want to conform to what is deemed “normal” when I can embrace the freedom to be myself.
Through my own unique journey and the choices I’ve made, I have broken free from societal conditioning. I've learned that every individual's path is distinct. By accepting the various routes that people take, I can envision possibilities in my own life that extend beyond what I initially thought was achievable.
Thank you for reading! If this article resonated with you, you might also enjoy the one linked below!
This video titled "Quit Judging Now! How To Stop Judging Yourself And Others" explores the impact of self-judgment and how it reflects on our perceptions of others.
Another insightful video, "Ready to Stop Judging Others? Here's How," provides practical tips for overcoming judgment and embracing acceptance.