Chapter 1: The Struggle of Feeling Invisible

When my family overlooks my existence, it creates an unshakable void in my chest and sense of identity. Just recently, my mother shared that my brother—whom I hadn’t seen in two years—was flying to California to meet up with the rest of the family. Instead of inviting me to join, she asked if I could water her plants while she was away. They were planning a family reunion, completely excluding me from the conversation.

This is not a one-time occurrence; it has happened repeatedly over the years. I often discover later that they had arranged family gatherings without informing me or considering my presence. On numerous occasions, my mother would speak on my behalf, saying things like, “Liza won’t mind,” or “Liza and her kids will take care of it,” while I stood there, silent and unheard, with no opportunity to express my own feelings or commitments.

One time, while at my ex-mother-in-law's house, she needed a ride home and my mother immediately suggested, “Liza would love to take you home,” without even asking for my opinion. It felt as though my choices and feelings were completely disregarded. The term "deleted" perfectly encapsulates how it feels when my inner thoughts are suddenly rendered nonexistent. It creates an almost disembodied sensation, leaving me feeling surreal and empty.

There are instances when my parents seem to ignore me entirely. They might feign interest when I start to speak, only to abruptly shift their focus to someone else or walk away mid-sentence. This has happened so frequently that I've lost count, leading me to stop trying to share anything meaningful with them. The pain of being dismissed, especially when sharing something personal, is profound. They simply smile, get distracted, and leave me hanging.

There's no acknowledgment of their rudeness or any apology for being distracted; they never recognize that I was speaking at all. To shield myself from this ongoing hurt, I’ve built up a protective barrier. I’ve realized they have little interest in understanding my thoughts and feelings. Accepting that I am deemed ‘boring’ or ‘unworthy’ of their attention unless it suits them has been a painful but necessary truth.

The realization was difficult; I yearned for my parents to accept every part of me and to foster a genuine connection. What child doesn’t desire their parents’ attention and approval? Yet, understanding this reality is a crucial step toward healing and finding peace without the affirmation of those who do not wish to know the real me.

In this video, "Do You Feel Invisible? Is It Like You Don't Exist In The World Or In The Hearts & Minds Of Others?", the speaker explores feelings of invisibility and the impact of family dynamics on self-worth.

Chapter 2: The Journey to Self-Acceptance

The official music video for "Invisible" by Anna Clendening resonates deeply with those who have felt overlooked or invisible, capturing the essence of this struggle.

By embracing this reality, I can begin to heal and accept that my worth is not determined by their acknowledgment. I am learning to find my voice and validate my own feelings, regardless of their perception.