Chapter 1: The Choice of Being Childfree

Let’s be honest: not everyone is cut out to be a parent.

Recently, a politician's comments have brought attention to those of us who proudly declare, “We choose cats over human children.” And yes, dogs occasionally too.

Before you dismiss us as uncaring or superficial, let’s acknowledge the women who desired a life without children. Many wished to be Childfree Cat Ladies but ended up with kids instead.

This isn’t just about the tragic tales of children who face neglect or abuse, leading to their removal from homes and parents facing consequences. There are also those who parent with minimal engagement, leaving their children to navigate life largely alone. While these parents may not face legal repercussions, their kids often carry the burden of therapy bills for decades.

I recall meeting a parent who expressed relief that their child was preoccupied with gaming all night, thus avoiding the need for sports events or performances. Why not just adopt a cat and simplify life?

The truth is, some of us enjoy the company of children, provided they belong to someone else. While others played with dolls, we opted for a game of “chase the cat.”

I wasn’t always a dedicated Cat Lady. For two decades, I shared my home with rescue dogs, who harmoniously coexisted with my cats, ensuring a balance of power.

Eventually, I declared, “No more dogs; I’ve served my time.” Although I do miss them, I might consider adopting another if my cat approves. After all, that’s how life goes with felines.

My journey has seen two cats and a dog, followed by a few years with just two cats. After one cat passed, the other seemed to thrive as the sole feline resident, likely to live a long life, as noted in my Last Will and Testament. She won’t face the fate of a shelter cat, wondering what went wrong.

People often inquire if I feel lonely. But with pets around, solitude is a rarity. You certainly don’t experience loneliness when a furry friend occupies the entire couch or insists on an early breakfast.

A medical professional, puzzled by my status as an older single woman, once asked, “How do you manage to get groceries?” If only she had paused to consider that I’m not starving. Surely, I’m sourcing food from somewhere, especially in a large American city with numerous delivery services available.

Her focus was solely on my age and a temporary health issue limiting my lifting capacity. Clearly, she had never encountered the book, Solitude, by British psychiatrist Anthony Storr, which discusses how some individuals prioritize “work” over “love.” We are content and normal, even if the book is slightly outdated.

“You made a wise choice,” a friend remarked when I shared my lack of desire for children. She recounted her struggles with two estranged children and another on a troubling path. Not every family brings joy and fulfillment.

Of course, cats can be disappointing. Some never show gratitude for being rescued from a shelter; others may not display affection or interest in their owners. That’s part of the deal.

At least they don’t request funds for legal representation.

I’m not concerned about dying alone. My worries lie more with well-intentioned or opportunistic medical professionals who may prolong my suffering beyond what’s necessary. Humans often face more significant struggles at life’s end than cats do.

I appreciate those who have chosen not to be Childfree Cat Ladies; we need the younger generation to keep society thriving. Just know, they will never be my children.

If you enjoyed this piece, you might like my book, When I Get Old I Plan To Be A Bitch.

Trigger warning and sales information can be found here. It’s a humorous read with a profound message, much like this article.

Chapter 2: The Joys of Feline Companionship