Chapter 1: Reflecting on Priorities

Every morning, I enjoy starting my day by gazing out my window at the Holly tree and admiring the tranquil morning sky. This routine brings me a sense of calm and peace.

Often, my gaze lands on a 6-inch crystal sculpture of the number “1” that rests on my window sill. This thoughtful gift was given to me by a client many years ago, who believed the number represented me. I felt it was more fitting for him, as he had begun to embrace his true self and live authentically.

This generous gesture from a kind-hearted individual serves as a reminder of the importance of prioritizing oneself. I truly hope he learned to place himself first rather than constantly trying to please others, a habit that can be all-consuming.

Putting others before ourselves to the detriment of our own needs is unhealthy and can lead to various issues. It's vital to set boundaries; once we have a clear understanding of our self-worth, we can begin to support others effectively.

Helping Others Feel Valued

We can uplift others through small, thoughtful actions. Here are some ways to do that:

• Actively listening to someone can make them feel appreciated.
• Asking deeper questions shows you care about their thoughts.
• Being considerate of others' needs or desires is crucial.
• A spontaneous act of kindness can brighten someone’s day.

Chapter 2: Defining Your Number 1

Who or what takes the top position in your life? For those who are religious or spiritual, do you see God, the universe, love, or kindness as your number one? Is it an external entity, another person, or perhaps a personal value? Reflect on what holds the most importance to you. Is it essential to have a number one, or is being your unique self sufficient?

I lean towards viewing my identity through the lens of uniqueness rather than numerical rankings. Numbers can foster a sense of competition, while embracing individuality frees us from judgment and rivalry.

Consider these questions:

• Are you compassionate toward yourself?
• Do you find yourself being overly critical?

Lately, I've heard remarks like, “I dislike how overweight I am,” “My legs are too short,” “I’m not very intelligent,” and “I always mess things up.” Such statements reflect a negative self-image and can convey a poor impression to others.

Many of us have internalized the habit of self-deprecation, mistakenly believing it demonstrates humility or that it will prevent others from criticizing us. However, I believe that this negative self-talk is detrimental, suggesting that if we judge ourselves harshly, we are likely to do the same to others.

Is that the person you aspire to be? Or how you want to be perceived? Probably not.

Key Takeaways

• Your self-talk often mirrors how you speak about others.
• Self-judgment leads to judging others.
• Your focus reveals your core values.
• Your priorities shed light on your character.

Moving Forward

Remember, your thoughts, actions, and focus are choices you can make. Reflect on how you treat yourself and, consequently, how you treat those around you. Pay attention to the words you use about yourself and others.

Take time to be alone, contemplate, and consider the many choices available to you. What kind of person do you genuinely want to become?